


Spideypool Drabbles

by darkavengerz (darkavenger)



Category: Marvel
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-15 22:53:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2246367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkavenger/pseuds/darkavengerz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moved here from tumblr. Just a short set of three-sentence plus fics from prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spideypool in Canada

"I thought you said you knew where we were going, Wade!"

"How the hell was I meant to know Canada’s this freakishly big?!"

"Aren’t you Canadian?”

"Yeah, but it’s not like I grew up here. Look at it Peter, this place ain’t fit fer human habitation, their money’s all funny, it’s all clean and I think that last lady we met cursed me!"

"No she didn’t, Wade. She just spoke french. She was apologising for bumping into you, which was your fault by the way?”

“French?! We gotta get out of here, Petey!”


	2. Deadpool wakes up as a squirrel

**This sucks.**

_You can say that again._

**This _sucks._**

"Aw, look, what a cutie!"

Deadpool perks up, long, bushy tail twitching, and  _boy_  if that isn’t an odd feeling.

_I don’t know, it’s been a while since someone called us that…Look, she’s even got food for us, aw yeah now that’s what I’m talking about, breakfast brought to ya._

"Get away, Kirsty! City squirrels are like rats, it’ll probably bite you. Besides, look, its fur’s all gross, it’s probably got fleas or mange or something."

Deadpool, or rather, Deadsquirrel droops as the mother pulls her child away.

**Ah, the familiar sting of rejection.**

_Some things never change, clearly._


	3. Spider-Man/Deadpool on a road trip

“I told you to go before we left, Wade!” Peter says despairingly.

“I  _did_ , Petey, it’s not my fault I have a weak bladder,” Wade whines, squirming in his seat. “Pull over at the next gas station, unless you’re okay swimming to Toronto.”

“Gross,” Peter mutters, but he checks the sat nav. “Looks like you’re out of luck, there’s no rest stops nearby. Guess you're going to have to do the old pee in a bottle trick.”

“Pee in a bottle trick?” Wade asks. “Peter Parker, that is dirty! What would dear old May think?”

“Who’d you think taught me it?” Peter asks, handing Wade a bottle. “Go on now, it’s not like you to be so squeamish.”

“I have standards I’ll have you know,” Wade sniffs, but he takes the bottle and after a little bit of wriggling and cussing there’s the liquid sound of the bottle being filled.

“Great,” Peter says, relieved. “Now just put the lid on and we’ll – NO WADE, NOT OUT THE WINDOW!”

The motorcyclist riding behind them uses some  _very_  inventive curses when he overtakes them minutes later.  


End file.
